Please, Jack?

No! This is really immature. You are stooping to her level. Get someone else.

I can’t – she knows your writing, it’ll be authentic.

Be the bigger person, Jay.

It is just good, teenage fun. It’ll get it out of my system and we’ll be even – no harm, no foul.

You really think no-one will get hurt by this?

Well, conceded Jay, it might be a little embarrassing, but they’ll get over it. Come, on – it can’t be any worse than cleaning poop for weeks on end.

Fine – but you owe me. Now what do you want it to say?

Jay cleared her throat to do her best Ben impression. Dear Rachael, she began.